You hear things like this: When we first met, he was so loving and fun to be with. Then, few months into our relationship, everything changed. The love, attention, care… seemed like he wasn’t the person I always knew.
What happened?
Human interactions start with a point of interest, and exploiting this could lead to relationships. The problem with many of us is our eagerness to date. We probably fail to realize that guys and ladies can simply be friends… nothing more.
There’s this vibe when you meet someone new, and at the same time, you’re attracted to this fellow. The tendency to overlook flaws or not even notice them altogether is a constant. The first time attraction to the looks and personality clouds our judgment of the person on the inside.
But over time, I’ve discovered another issue, you weren’t friends first. That may seem weird when you think about it, but many people hit it off with their partners at the avalanche of care, affection, and attention received while they were crushing, hence the belief, “they’re meant for each other.” As a result, we never really took the time to understand each other’s values, real likes, and dislikes (not the romantic ones, e.g., I hate liars… like, who doesn’t?)
Beauty attracts, but friendship sustains.
No wonder it seems like the conversation was always; how was your night; have you eaten; do you miss me? You never really got to understand your partner as you would a friend. The good part is many people who started off this way eventually became friends along the line. This is a hundred percent possible.
But in some situations, if you had become friends first, you would have discovered that it was best you either stayed friends, no strings attached, or probably even ended the whole ordeal altogether.
Please let me know your views in the comment section, as I do not claim that this is a 100% proven theory…. cheerio
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I definitely agree with what I just read. The phrase - "friendship sustains" is very profound.
In fact, I found myself nodding along to nearly every paragraph written. It simply resonates with the thoughts and beliefs I've always had.
Paraphrasing another paragraph - "regardless of the initial attraction, try to be friends first. During the friendship, you would decide whether to take it from there or simply remain friends."
Great read.
Comment from my mail:
Hello @ Abiodun Aguda🖖. I share the same view with you. If I want to date someone,I become friends with them first. I allow them to be comfortable with me and I will be with them. If we survive as friends,then we can as lovers. I am of the mindset that I don't have to go into a romantic relationship if I'm not physically,mentally, financially, psychologically,and spiritually ready for marriage. Why I think a lot of these relationship hit the rock today is because they started with just a play,no commitment,'let's see if we would work'. Meanwhile they could have seen that as friends.